he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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