that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
