dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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