I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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