I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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