weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
