I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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