New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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