happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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