She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My dick has a subreddit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
