Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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