That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
