When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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