I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My bed smells like the plague
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