It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
