hell yes lets make some ravioli
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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