Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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