You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
