doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
