your room smells of hookers.
And success
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
