I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
