I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
