isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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