evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She's the barista slut.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
