I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
