I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Mom said you looked used
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
