i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
