I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
