the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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