You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
