I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
