ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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