we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
