there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
