she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
