I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
