PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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