I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize