i already hear my dad disowning me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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