I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
