I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
