I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
