I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
