@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
