In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
