two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
