I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
