i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
