They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
