so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
