it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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