Capitaan dildo arrescate!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize