you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
