i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
