do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
