I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
