You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
