just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
