We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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