just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize