Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
