so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
