Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize