Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
