I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
