Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
