Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
