so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
