Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
