I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
