Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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