Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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