The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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