I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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