Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
