Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I faked an abortion last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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