I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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