marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize