I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
